Snack & Chat: When Expectations Become Preferences

Good Morning to you! Here we are again with another Snack & Chat. Let’s grab a snack and get started:

We all have preferences: things that we prefer with consideration to ourselves. We all have expectations: things that we expect will happen. While neither is negative, I do think that when expectations become centered around preferences towards someone, they can become negative.

There is a certain kind of hopefulness ( at least, in my mind) that I associate with having expectations. When one has expectations for someone, they have high hopes that they can be, that they can do and that they can achieve. Yes, the person believes and is confident in whoever that have the expectations for to do so, but it is more about that person just being a better them for them; than a better them for you. The issue comes when our expectations just become our preferences for how someone should be, react or act in a given situation. In other words, we expect them to act in the ways that “we” see because we made it about us vs. making it about them.  No wonder we are agitated and frustrated ? It was not because they did not meet what we expected, but because they did not do what we preferred.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with setting expectations for one another;it’s so important to but there’s a point where expectations can become more about serving our own interest and controllling -ahem- others than about hoping for the best for their lives. It is inevitable that we all have preferences but we all have to learn the boundaries of our preferences so that they do not affect those who will be impressed upon them negatively. If we have expectations, we have to be mindful and let the other person can decide how/whether or not those expectations will be seen/met in their own lives.

I hope I am making sense: would love to see your comments below.

♥ Bree ♥

 

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