Snack & Chat: When Expectations Become Preferences

Good Morning to you! Here we are again with another Snack & Chat. Let’s grab a snack and get started:

We all have preferences: things that we prefer with consideration to ourselves. We all have expectations: things that we expect will happen. While neither is negative, I do think that when expectations become centered around preferences towards someone, they can become negative.

There is a certain kind of hopefulness ( at least, in my mind) that I associate with having expectations. When one has expectations for someone, they have high hopes that they can be, that they can do and that they can achieve. Yes, the person believes and is confident in whoever that have the expectations for to do so, but it is more about that person just being a better them for them; than a better them for you. The issue comes when our expectations just become our preferences for how someone should be, react or act in a given situation. In other words, we expect them to act in the ways that “we” see because we made it about us vs. making it about them.  No wonder we are agitated and frustrated ? It was not because they did not meet what we expected, but because they did not do what we preferred.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with setting expectations for one another;it’s so important to but there’s a point where expectations can become more about serving our own interest and controllling -ahem- others than about hoping for the best for their lives. It is inevitable that we all have preferences but we all have to learn the boundaries of our preferences so that they do not affect those who will be impressed upon them negatively. If we have expectations, we have to be mindful and let the other person can decide how/whether or not those expectations will be seen/met in their own lives.

I hope I am making sense: would love to see your comments below.

♥ Bree ♥

 

Snack & Chat: My #1 Blogging Tip

Good Morning to you! It’s time for another Snack & Chat. Previously, we have chatted about the importance of asking instead of assuming, the necessity of asking beautiful questions in order to have beautiful relationships and for today’s segment, I wanted to share with you one of the most important things that I have learned after blogging continually for years. It is not about interacting with others nor creating social media, actually it’s something that I think will take us all further:

Attitude determines where your blog will go, not circumstance…

Now in this context, I will say that it determines where your “blog” will go but the reality is that your attitude can have an impact on wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do and whatever you want to become; however I want to focus on blogging.

Sometimes, dare I say, I feel that where we are at on our blog is a reflection of our efforts, yes but more so a reflection of our own attitude. If we believe that we can not do X, that our lives are not interesting enough, that we do not have enough money or time or patience or whatever it may be, then our blog may very well reflect these things in one way or the other. It is hard to have a negative attitude about something yet expect for that “something” to be positive; our blogs are a manifestation of our own thoughts & passion at the hands of our fingertips. If you think negative, then the results are more likely to be negative. I must say, I am guilty of this….being one fixated on circumstance vs.re-directing my attitude. ” Well I don’t have this…”,” I don’t have the time…I don’t know what to write” and so on, so on! The thing is my attitude has an impact on the growth not in necessarily quantity but quality likewise. If I choose for my attitude to be negative then the outcome will be negative. Have you ever been doing something with a bad attitude and then you are surprise when you get hurt ? Just saying….just saying!

My point of this post is that you will come across some bloggers on here and their content just exudes their attitude; refreshing, positive and free to do and be. Yet sometimes, you may see the opposite. I just want to call out the influence of our attitudes right here and right now on what we are trying to do here which is blog. A lot of us have passion here, let us not be discouraged in what we do not have or can not do or whatever else! A lot of us have great potential here to be where YOU see yourself to be, let us not be condescending to other blogs or stuck in the compare game. Let us all have the best attitude that we can have here so that our blogs can be the best that we make them to be….

Hey, you! …Yes you! Let’s keep the conversation going in the comment section below, what are your thoughts ?

♥ Bree

Snack & Chat: Just ASK!

Good Monday Sweetplorers & welcome to another Snack & Chat. Today’s chat is a brief one but I wanted to bring it up because I think it carries an encouraging truth that we all can carry with us as we start this week:

  • How many times have we not done something because we assumed that the results/experience would be negative ?
  • How many times have we had a question to ask but we did not ask because we assumed that the question itself was not important enough or would make ourselves look bad ?
  • How many times have we wanted to say something but we assumed that the reception of what we had to say would be met with negativity, rejection, etc ?

Sometimes, I think so many of us are busy protecting ourselves with our assumptions that we neglect to realize the peace of mind that we can have by just asking to get the real answer, instead of the preconceived and prejudged answer that we came up with in our own minds.This leads me to say that coming from experience, I have been so afraid of the negative that might be the answer that I have hindered my life and I know that I have missed out on what could have been a positive and uplifting outcome.

I just want to encourage you, the person that is reading this, to don’t go off of what you think but to go off what you know. None of us will ever know if we do not try and/or if we do not ask. It is impossible to know because God did not give us the ability to see the future nor to be mind-readers so we can not live our lives pretending to be able to do so because we can’t.

It will take time to reset our negative, assuming mindset but I think we might all be surprised to find just how much we have to GAIN by asking and trying instead of what we might lose by asking/trying.

Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments, what do you guys think ?

See you on Wednesday & Have a safe, fantastic and sweet-filled 4th of July!

~ Bree

 

Snack & Chat: Beautiful Questions Necessary For Beautiful Relationships

Good Friday & Welcome to the first edition of ♥ Snack & Chat ♥ So, grab a snack ( because that’s what we love) and let’s get chatting, shall we ?

Today, I wanted to talk about the necessity ( or is it) of asking beautiful questions to foster beautiful relationships ( friendships, general companionship, romantic, etc). Last Sunday, I read an article by Winn Collier called “Say Something Beautiful” and basically he shares a brief story of a thoughtful & meaningful companionship that was built from asking “beautiful questions”.

What are these beautiful questions ? I’ll share with you a quote from the article “ For a question to be meaningful, it must be genuine. At times we questions not because we care to know a person but rather because we were trying to build our stockpile of knowledge or support the image we want to project. Jesus’ questions, however were always real questions, always in search of honest friendships”. 

I have this friend who I playfully tease because she always like to ask questions and to go “deep” but upon coming across this article, I think I have a new profound perspective about questions. Asking questions with the beautiful intent to get to know someone ( actually to know them), asking questions with the beautiful mindset that is ready to listen and to not judge, asking questions with the beautiful outlook that is not about being right but just listening right is what fosters beautiful relationships. All the times she was asking me those “pestering” questions, it was genuine searching for having an honest friendship.

I say this all to say, perhaps we do not have the relationships we’ve always wanted or maybe are going through a rough path in the relationships that we do have because we are not asking the right questions and if we are, we are not asking so with beautiful attitudes, mindsets and hearts that are set on things BESIDES ourselves. Sometimes, the reason why a possible friendship /companionship may not go anywhere is because we really do not put much genuine thought behind the questions that we ask. Maybe we did not really care to know how someone was doing, where they were at in X, Y,Z in their life and so on ?

I can conclude this not telling you because I know better but rather, because I do the same thing. I can not begin to look back on the times where I just asked questions, maybe to project an image of kindness ( because it is the kind thing to ask, right ?), or even godliness. However, the impression that I have been left with from only the little that I’ve read from this article is that beautiful questions comes from a heart that is real ( not fake), that is genuine and that is concerned with other people, not only itself and the way that relationships can be found/strengthened is by those who choose to ask beautiful questions.

Let’s keep the conversation going in the comment section: what are you thoughts & what snack did you have as you read this ( or even that you wished you had ?)

♥ Bree ♥