Snack & Chat: When Expectations Become Preferences

Good Morning to you! Here we are again with another Snack & Chat. Let’s grab a snack and get started:

We all have preferences: things that we prefer with consideration to ourselves. We all have expectations: things that we expect will happen. While neither is negative, I do think that when expectations become centered around preferences towards someone, they can become negative.

There is a certain kind of hopefulness ( at least, in my mind) that I associate with having expectations. When one has expectations for someone, they have high hopes that they can be, that they can do and that they can achieve. Yes, the person believes and is confident in whoever that have the expectations for to do so, but it is more about that person just being a better them for them; than a better them for you. The issue comes when our expectations just become our preferences for how someone should be, react or act in a given situation. In other words, we expect them to act in the ways that “we” see because we made it about us vs. making it about them.  No wonder we are agitated and frustrated ? It was not because they did not meet what we expected, but because they did not do what we preferred.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with setting expectations for one another;it’s so important to but there’s a point where expectations can become more about serving our own interest and controllling -ahem- others than about hoping for the best for their lives. It is inevitable that we all have preferences but we all have to learn the boundaries of our preferences so that they do not affect those who will be impressed upon them negatively. If we have expectations, we have to be mindful and let the other person can decide how/whether or not those expectations will be seen/met in their own lives.

I hope I am making sense: would love to see your comments below.

♥ Bree ♥

 

Snack & Chat: My #1 Blogging Tip

Good Morning to you! It’s time for another Snack & Chat. Previously, we have chatted about the importance of asking instead of assuming, the necessity of asking beautiful questions in order to have beautiful relationships and for today’s segment, I wanted to share with you one of the most important things that I have learned after blogging continually for years. It is not about interacting with others nor creating social media, actually it’s something that I think will take us all further:

Attitude determines where your blog will go, not circumstance…

Now in this context, I will say that it determines where your “blog” will go but the reality is that your attitude can have an impact on wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do and whatever you want to become; however I want to focus on blogging.

Sometimes, dare I say, I feel that where we are at on our blog is a reflection of our efforts, yes but more so a reflection of our own attitude. If we believe that we can not do X, that our lives are not interesting enough, that we do not have enough money or time or patience or whatever it may be, then our blog may very well reflect these things in one way or the other. It is hard to have a negative attitude about something yet expect for that “something” to be positive; our blogs are a manifestation of our own thoughts & passion at the hands of our fingertips. If you think negative, then the results are more likely to be negative. I must say, I am guilty of this….being one fixated on circumstance vs.re-directing my attitude. ” Well I don’t have this…”,” I don’t have the time…I don’t know what to write” and so on, so on! The thing is my attitude has an impact on the growth not in necessarily quantity but quality likewise. If I choose for my attitude to be negative then the outcome will be negative. Have you ever been doing something with a bad attitude and then you are surprise when you get hurt ? Just saying….just saying!

My point of this post is that you will come across some bloggers on here and their content just exudes their attitude; refreshing, positive and free to do and be. Yet sometimes, you may see the opposite. I just want to call out the influence of our attitudes right here and right now on what we are trying to do here which is blog. A lot of us have passion here, let us not be discouraged in what we do not have or can not do or whatever else! A lot of us have great potential here to be where YOU see yourself to be, let us not be condescending to other blogs or stuck in the compare game. Let us all have the best attitude that we can have here so that our blogs can be the best that we make them to be….

Hey, you! …Yes you! Let’s keep the conversation going in the comment section below, what are your thoughts ?

♥ Bree